So I went paintballing today with all five of my college roommates. It was pretty entertaining, but at the end of the day, I think I took a lot more away from the experience than simply shooting balls of paint at my opponents.

See, the paintball course we went to was in Camp Pendleton, one of the largest Marine Corps stations in the country, and immediately one is confronted by soldiers with (real) guns upon entering the facility. Not 30 minutes later was I holding my own (fake) gun, prepared to shoot at all the people standing around me. All of a sudden the “referee” starts the “game” and I’m shooting to kill.

In truth, I was shot and “killed” far more times than I shot anyone else, and in the moments the paintball struck me, I had an overwhelming feeling of fear. After a few seconds the pain subsided and I was able to relax, realizing that I would live to play another game.

It doesn’t work that way for a real soldier. The guys on the other side are trained, and instead of soft paintballs their guns are loaded with live ammunition. The point of their “game” is not to capture the other team’s flag, but to take out (read: kill) as many of their opponents as necessary in order to take a piece of land, or fulfill some other objective.

It’s kind of corny, but as of today I have the utmost gratitude for all the soldiers out there defending our country, and all countries. They say war is hell, and today I experienced that hell, if only for a moment.

I have always wished the fighting that goes on in this world didn’t happen, but today I have a deeper understanding of why I feel that way.